I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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