hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
