It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize