put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
