billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
