yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
