just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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