haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize