I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
