Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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