You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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