we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
