i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
