I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
