You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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