I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she peed on how many people?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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