He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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