talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
