I seem to have left my pride at pride
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
