I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize