He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
