there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
