Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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