Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize