Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
