It's Friday. Sex?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
