So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
