me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
