nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
