also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize