There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
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