I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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