Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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