And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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