I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
