i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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