Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
