So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
