she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
wow bdsm is so cute
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
