Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
