Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
