that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
