her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
