I'm gonna have a badass scar
wrigley field is MILF paradise
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
