DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
