I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
