You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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