a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
