Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
