I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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