can we get nightvision for the apartment?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
