You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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