Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
