Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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