I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
