So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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