eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There r osticjed everywhere
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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