3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
