belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
