And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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