what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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